August—dude, it’s killing me.

It is way above the comfortable amount of degrees outside today. My iced coffee is sweating all over my scribbly sketches, the black ink slowly morphing into soft and swirly pools on my desk. A sticky cloud of humidity is making it impossible for me to even begin to think about what I should do in order to keep getting paid.

My drawings have started to look the same (re: Dude), design at work has been spinning in circles, and coffee tastes like the opposite of awake. As the air-conditioning unit in my office not-so-gently reminds me that it still isn’t fall yet, and I am, in fact, not outside near a cool body of water, I think about how nice it would be to get away.

Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, if you’re anything like me, you have already exhausted not only your vacation days but also those “sick” ones, and work continues to pile up while you dream of doing other things.

So what do we do?

I say let’s exercise that brilliant mind of yours and still somehow manage to stay slumped in our respective swivel chairs in order to keep receiving payment via “the man.” Follow me, dear babe, and I’ll teach you how to draw a balloon.

“Why?” you ask.

First of all, don’t sass me; second of all, because they are fat and they are floaty and if they happen to have a basket then they can take you away. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

So let’s get going.

Print out the page below and follow the instructions to create your perfect getaway. Then cut that bad boy out, pin him up near your desk and take off day-dreaming. I’ll cover for you while you’re gone.

Happy sailing, kiddos.

Drawings by Dani Alvarez.