Got questions for Little Bobby? Send them to dearlittlebobby@pyragraph.com.

Dear Little Bobby,

My boyfriend is trying to “make it” as a photographer and is having a really hard time. He wants to be taken seriously as an artist but hasn’t gotten any gallery shows and barely gets any paying clients. He’s depressed all the time and frankly I don’t know if I would hire him based on his attitude alone, plus I think his work is really half-baked lately anyway.

Sounds harsh, I know, but it has been months of this and I am really frustrated. He refuses to get a “real” job so he never has any money, besides the lack of success with his photography work. I’m finding it hard to be encouraging anymore. Should I keep giving him pep talks or give him some tough love and tell him he needs to get his shit together?

—Lonely and Fed-Up Girlfriend

Dear Lonely,

I think YOU need to do what is right for YOU. If this boyfriend is the person whom you want to be supporting, regardless of his success or lack of it, then you would be gladly supporting him. You would “believe in him,” perhaps because of how he made you feel or perhaps because of some other qualities.

However, that doesn’t seem to be the case. His attitude seems to be an issue for you. I know that I would not want to support someone who wasn’t motivated to work for the relationship, whether that involves getting a “real job” or not. When you say it’s hard to “be encouraging anymore” it seems like you’re asking me to encourage YOU to encourage HIM (either through a pep talk or the “tough love” of telling him to get his shit together).

It sounds to me like you want to tell him to get a job, and it doesn’t matter if it is real or not, as long as it brings income into the relationship and as long as it shows you that he is an adult who cares about YOUR cares. I think that the two of you have much bigger issues than his photography being, or not being, successful and I believe that you are intelligent enough to understand that.

Follow your heart. You obviously know him much better than I do. Ask yourself whether or not you are actually helping him by “helping” him or if you are being his crutch. Does he appreciate it? Does he have any understanding of gratitude?

—Little Bobby
Alone but not lonely

Dear Little Bobby,

I’ve heard that some athletes avoid sex before competition on the belief that they can harness that sexual energy in their athletic performance. Is the same true for artists? I’m a musician and sometimes if I get laid right before I play I feel almost too mellow on stage. But other times having sex (either with a partner or by myself) helps me relax. What do you think?

—Performer Who Digs Sex

Dear Performer,

Years ago I had also heard about athletes avoiding pre-competition sex while I was training for my first marathon. I was single (and not getting laid) at the time so I liked the idea that I was “harnessing” my sexual energy. After 11 months of training, as I was approaching running 90 miles a week, with about a month to go before the big race, I met an incredibly gorgeous young woman to whom I “gave” some of my sexual energy.

I remember debating the issue with myself…for about 15 seconds. I thought if I do this, I will have less energy for my 18-mile training run tomorrow. But that debate was quickly over when I looked into her cat-like pupils. She also had her two top canine teeth sharpened to vampire-like points, so what was a boy to do? The night before the race, we were together, then I woke up and ran my first marathon…and because I was in shape, I did great.

Sex before a performance/gig can drain you or energize you; it depends on the sex and it depends on you. I know that I would rather be with a beautiful woman or man, and add the benefits of that encounter to my performance. Besides, sex after a performance has its own charms as well.

—Little Bobby Tucker
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, especially a beautiful one