Dear Little Bobby: Moral Implications of Working at Whole Paycheck, and Uneaten Peach
Got questions for Little Bobby? Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dear Little Bobby,
I have spent the last 10 years working for a national chain of health food grocery stores, the biggest one, the one with the high prices (Whole Foods). After many years, the company isn’t what it used to be. In addition to more competition and poor management, some high profile scandals have helped to severely damage the company’s reputation and bottom line, which means rounds of layoffs, decreased benefits, lower pay, etc.
My husband, child and I recently moved to a new city where the chain has four stores. For now, I am working at them, off and on, as a seasonal employee. However, because of how the company is changing, I am not sure if I want go back to full time, but I also have no clue what else to do to help support my family. Thoughts?
—Lost in Las Vegas
I know the feeling, I worked for Whole Paycheck for 12 years and despite never once missing a day of work, in the end, that place treated me poorly. For example, I was harassed by the store manager for my appearance. She didn’t like me wearing small amounts of glitter, which was a real shame. ? That corporation used to be filled with creative, forward-thinking people, but the money took over. They went public with their stock, got greedy and decided to grow like an empire. And like all empires, a collapse follows the expansion. A perfect example of creativity dying a slow, public death at the hands of monetarism.
As for what you should do, I would suggest keeping your options as open as possible. When I found myself unemployed after 12 years of having a steady job, I called up a friend who owns a burger joint and I began cooking burgers and fries, despite being a vegetarian. I needed a job and my friend hired me on the spot, with no application and no interview. It was easy, quick money and I liked who I was working for (for once). It was also part time, which gave me time to continue looking around for more work.
After a couple of months I was hired at a local co-op, a grocery store owned by its members. It is like Whole Paycheck but with better management. I then fell back on my biology degree and got a temp job at the Zoo, while I was STILL seasonal at the co-op.
It has been wild. I know, for me, all of this temp and seasonal shit was scary at first. I FEEL what you are going through there in Vegas. I’ve recently decided to leave my temp job to pursue music, writing, working for a friend and who knows what else.
For many of us, this is the new economy. For some it is by choice, for others it is out of necessity. Don’t be afraid of change. In fact, embrace it. Seek it out. Find what you love in life and focus on that, and get ready for it to change! Maybe it is your child or maybe you do something wholly unexpected FOR your family and for you. Let me know how it goes. Lots of glitter to you!
“Turn and face the strange ch…ch…changes” —David Bowie, 1971
Dear Little Bobby,
My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. The sex has always been pretty good, but he doesn’t ever want to perform oral sex on me. I’ve asked him to, but he makes excuses and says that going down on girls doesn’t really turn him on. Should I give up on this or is there a creative approach that can give me hope?
—Uneaten Peach in Peoria, IL
Dear Uneaten Peach,
When I was in high school, my fairly conservative Mother told me, “Most men do not know how to please a woman.”
I asked, “Then how SHOULD a man please a woman?”
She said, “God gave you a tongue and fingers for a reason.”
I did not need for her to explain it further. She made her point and my girlfriends ever since have been grateful. I may not be perfect in bed, but in this department, effort goes a long way and experience definitely pays off.
My first reaction to your question is: I’m so sorry you are being treated this way.
My second reaction is: What the hell is wrong with this guy? I mean, is he gay? But seriously, I even know bisexual guys (like myself) who love pleasing a lady like this. But let’s both try to have compassion for him, because many men in this country—and around the world—have been brainwashed into thinking that cunnilingus is wrong/bad/gross, or for some, it’s simply that they are so self-centered that they do not know or care how much pleasure it can bring to the woman in their life.
That is unfortunate and it needs to change. One way to change this is by openly communicating with him. Be very direct about what you want him to do and how you want him to do it—the more detail the better. Make sure he knows this is important to you.
You could also tell him that tonight is “ladies night,” and that tonight he is going to do everything that you want him to do. (This is also a great way for anyone to get into all kinds of kinky fetishes: bondage, submission, etc.) Tell him that tomorrow he gets to be in charge and see if THAT does anything to adjust his attitude.
He might be intimidated—poor guy—so, if you love him and want to go easy on him, be patient. Or maybe you will discover that he likes to be tied up, in which case, do NOT go easy on him.
If he is really selfish, he might still refuse and if this is REALLY important to you, you might reevaluate your relationship with such a selfish person. If I were you, I would weigh all the factors about the relationship before I’d give up on this.
The point is, if he loves you, wants to make you happy, and wants to keep you, he will show some effort and meet you halfway. He might even discover that he likes cunnilingus and that he likes making you happy. And THEN, he might discover that he likes the way you treat him after he “treats” you.
And if he does not want to put some effort into making you happy, then I think that is a symptom of a much larger issue—selfishness.
—Little Bobby Tucker
“I really love your peaches, want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I’ll sure show you a good time”
—The Steve Miller Band, “The Joker,” 1973
Good advice all around. A while back a few girlfriends and I were discussing cunnilingus and a common expereince we all shared was that some guys just have no idea what they are doing which is understandable, it’s a pretty complicated set up down there! Most guys don’t seem to want to admit that and ask for help either. Loving guidance and plenty of encouragement can go a long ways! Good luck!