Image by Dani Alvarez.

I’ve always been told it’s important to keep one’s work life and personal life separate. My recent foray into the drawing-for-money world however, has made that nearly impossible. My drawings are directly tied not only to my personal life, but my personality, and you know what sucks? Rejection of one’s personality. Instead of thinking too much about it, though, I’m going to word vomit those rejections out just for you; and, if at some point in your life you are feeling snubbed you can come back and look at these and feel less so.

I am the Leslie Knope to your post-breakup Ann in this scenario and I’m happy to be here. (If you don’t get that reference watch this now please.)

Here is a list* of some** of my rejections over the past three months.

From Random and Kind of Out of My Element Job:

“You asked about more hours and the possibility of working more so I think maybe you’re not a great fit because we only look for people who don’t really care about their work and also why do you keep emailing me saying you are interested? You can’t work here.”

From Random Commissioner:

“I saw you at that artist market and think you’re really great can you do this custom piece for me? Also, I work for this, like, massive publishing company and I think you should meet my art director do you have time right now like in the next hour we are only two hours away from you. Oh no that’s okay well I’m not gonna email you back for a bit and no you can’t meet my art director actually but I’m not gonna tell you that I’m just gonna ask do you have an agent? I know an agent here’s her email now please stop emailing me because I can’t help you! You can’t work here.”

From Agency:

I have read a lot of inspirational quotes about failure and most of them have to do with Tom Edison.

“Your work is okay and I only looked at it because a friend I had lunch with works for Disney and that matters and she told me about you and she feels bad about telling you that you could meet her art director when really you never had a chance and anyway you aren’t good enough to make us money but we’ll pretend like it’s you we care about and say that we like to provide our clients with a breadth of work and we like to provide our artists with enough opportunities for work and we just don’t think you’ve got enough of ‘it,’ so…. You can’t work here.”

From Cool Hip Company with Free Lunches:

“Wow you could be a great fit here! Are these three days okay for you? Let us know and also complete this drawing test and then let us know if you have any questions but expect no reply for a bit until we email you and say: We just don’t think you’re the best fit. You can’t work here.”

Woof, am I right?

Job searching is like Tinder, and all this being swept left is not good for this old lady. But let me just say that I have read a lot of inspirational quotes about failure and most of them have to do with Tom Edison and he gave us light and stuff so I think I’ll be okay too.

Keep failing, keep flailing, keep on, kids. I’m right here with you.

*Paraphrased and edited with artistic license because I am calling myself an artist now.

**These do not include straight ignores from 25 plus other applications.